Why You Should Buy This Titan! The Other Four
by sybcj
Summary: total chaos happens when you try to auction the teen titans... starfire, cyborg.. a scrap idea on robin and the final product on robin... read if you have nothing else to do... and if you like shiny things.. production and writing of story ON HOLD.
1. Starfire

_A/N: i'm stuck in a rut with the same story again... *sigh* since i still can't make up my mind with just another color story, i decided to make the other parts of why you should buy this titan. i already put this in my profile's to do list anyway... so there.. enjoy =D_

_Disclaimer: i don't own Teen Titans..._

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_Welcome once again ladies and gents to: Why You Should Buy This Titan!!_

_*applause*_

_For today's Titan in auction: our lovely Tamaranain Starfire!!!_

_***nearby curtain goes up and shows Starfire***_

**Starfire: Hello people of Earth! I am gladdened by this opportunity to partake in this show of games! *waves and smiles***

_*applause followed by whistling by male audiences*_

**Robin: Uh.. Star, that's game shows… but this isn't exactly a game show…**

**Raven: Just leave her be Robin.**

**Robin: *pouts* Fine.**

_Now,if we're all done with the wolf whistles. Here are the 5 reasons why you should buy this titan!! *ahem*  
Reason number one: Her sexy figure! Just one look at her and there's no need for questions!_

_*strong applause and male audience start whistling and howling*_

**Male audience #1: You're so hot Starfire!!**

**Male audience #2: Yeah, you have one of the hottest bodies on earth!! *whistles***

**Robin: *vein pops on head* Shut up you!!! Don't talk to Star like that!! You make her sound indecent!!!!**

**Cyborg: Chill Rob. They can't do anything to Star.**

**Robin: But what they said!!! It's not right!!**

**Beast Boy: I agree!! I have a hot bod too!!!**

**Other Titans: *stares at Beast Boy***

**Beast Boy: Why won't anyone believe me!!**

**Raven: Ignore the little green elf. And just relax Robin, look. Star doesn't even seem a least bit offended. *points at the Tamaranian on the stage***

**Starfire: *doing…er—"poses"***

_*stronger applause and whistles*_

**Robin: *drained of all color* Starfire!! How could you--! *drops dead on the floor***

_I'm sure we can't get enough of that folks but we have limited time! So on to reason number two: She's Tamaranain. That's right! If you folks are tired of Earth taste, our Titan on sale's exoticness is out of this world! _

_*strong applause and drools from male audience*_

**Robin: *revives* What in the hell! What reasons are you giving!! It sounds like Star is from a porn mag!!**

_Don't blame me kid. Blame the script writer. *script writer from backstage runs away* Oh, there he goes. Too bad for you Robin._

**Robin: *smoke coming out from his ears***

**Starfire: Robin.. May I ask what is this "porn mag" you speak of?**

**Robin: Huh!? What!? Well… you see… Star… *voice starts to falter***

_Now for reason number three!! *looks at Robin* You owe me one kid. *ahem* Reason number three ladies and gents: She knows how to cook! You know the saying "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach." Hahahaha. Can you tell us something from Starfire's cooking Titans?? _

_*camera zooms at the other Titans*_

**Starfire: *Joyfully waits for her friends' answers***

**Robin: Uh…Um… *ahem* Well.. Star's cooking is… well.. *gulp* *looks at Starfire***

**Starfire: *smiles and bats eyelashes***

**Robin: Ahehe.. you need a lot.. of things… when Starfire cooks!**

**Cyborg: Yeah! *butts in to help the masked wonder* Like laser cannons!**

**Beast Boy: And rocket launchers! And bombs…and swords… and mallets..and…**

**Raven: And Silkie…**

**Four Titans sitting: *nodded in agreement that Silkie is the most destructive/potent weapon to use when faced with Starfire's cooking***

_*crowd stunned and silent*_

**Raven: Oh.. and some stomach pills and some salt and pepper might help as well.**

**Starfire: *oblivious to the danger of her meal just smiles***

_Well… *ahem*….. that's sounds interesting… and very expensive. But there's a reason for that folks! And this can be explained by reason number four: She's a princess! That's right! The lucky winner today will get to keep the princess and heir to Tamaran!!_

_*strong applause*_

_CRASH!!!!_

_*nearby wall breaks and Blackfire comes flying in*_

_*audience gasps*_

**Cyborg: What the hell is that crazy chick doing here!!?**

**Blackfire: Foolish game show!! Starfire is not the heir to the throne!!!!**

**Beast Boy: Uh.. It's not really a game show…**

**Blackfire: *glares at the changeling***

**Beast Boy: Eeep! *flinches* I'll shut up now…**

**Blackfire: As I was saying... My sister is not the heir to the throne! I AM!! AND I WON'T LET ANYONE THAT SAYs SO OTHERWISE LIVE!! I SHALL—OW!!! *butt got hit by a tranquilizer* I.. feel…. Dizzy… I like green!! *falls to the ground***

**Cyborg: *nudges Beast Boy* hear that Beast Boy. She said she likes green.**

**Beast Boy: *imagines him and Blackfire together and faints***

**Cyborg: Uhh… Beast Boy??**

_Sorry about that folks!! Don't worry Star. Scarat will bring your sister to a nice mental asylum._

**Starfire: *smiles and nods***

**Raven: I'm sure she'll fit in just fine.**

**Cyborg: Yeah.. she always does that thing with her eyes when she gets pissed.**

**Robin: A total sign of a mental illness.**

***three titans nod in agreement***

_*Scarat drags the sleeping Blackfire off the stage* _

_Thanks Scarat!! Be gentle with her now, we don't want any law suits filed at us. *Scarat nods*_

_Well folks. Shall we go on to reason number five?_

_*audience gets over the Blackfire incident*_

_*strong applause*_

_Alright!! That's good coz we're just about to run out of time! Reason number five: Her sweet personality. This young girl can capture every hearts in the city not just because of her looks! It's her personality that does the killer blow!!_

**Starfire: *smiles sweetly and winks***

_*male audience goes wild and starts stampeding to the stage*_

**Cyborg: Oh, shit! Beast Boy wake up!!! *slaps the changeling awake***

**Beast Boy: Huh.. What..?**

**Robin: Beast Boy! Wake up and take position!**

**Beast Boy: What happened?? **

**Cyborg: *points at the wild crowd* That!**

**Raven: *rolls eyes* I hate it when this happens.**

**Robin: Titans go!!**

***the four titans charge at the crowd to stop them from coming near Starfire.***

_We've gotta start screening the audience we let in… Hmm… Well folks that's all the time we have for now. So start dialing those phones (and don't forget your credit cards) and you might just get a chance to take home today's Titan and this complementary straightjacket!!_

_*chaos and pandemonium ensues in the set*_

_*sigh* Tamranian princesses really are expensive.. Scarat, my shotgun please. *Scarat hands host the shotgun* I better get paid for doing overtime. YYAAAARRRRGGH!! *charges at the crowd as well*_

**Starfire: *still smiling. Oblivious to the chaos happening due to her***

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_hmm.. i wonder if i should make the other series for this story...? eh... who knows... what do you guys think??_


	2. Cyborg

_A/N: hey there... i decided to just put the titans' auction sale thingy here into one story... except beastboy... he's special... like hair cancer (if there is such a thing...) legal issues came up in this next show coz of what happend to the incident with starfire... so this is the new and improved why you should buy this titan... it's total chaos again.. coz my head is still hurting like hell...  
Disclaimer: i do not own teen titans... i also don't own titansfan1211 and Desstrio... if any of you two are reading this... please don't hurt me! i'm sorry i used you guys without asking... just thought of this as a way to say thanks to titansfan1211 for liking the stupid oneshots i made like boo-yah songlist and desstrio was kind enough to actually bid on why you should buy this titan! beastboy... so there... i'll go hide now.._

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_Hello ladies and gents! Surprised? Well… after how many trips back to court, two hundred-eighty restraining orders, a near court marshal, how many hours of community service and the amendment of the contracts with the Titans….. We're back! New and improved! This is…._

_WHY YOU SHOULD BUY THIS TITAN!_

_*applause from the audience*_

_Now, for today's Titan! Our mechanoid Cyborg!_

***curtain rises and shows Cyborg***

**Cyborg: **Hey y'all! Now, can everybody gimme a boo-yah!

*audience shouts***BOOOOOOOOO—YYYYAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!**

_Very nice…. I think I'm gonna have to go to my ear doctor after this… Now, I've said before that this show is now new and improved. Now, bear with this news folks… in today's show, we're not really selling the Titan today._

_*big "awww" and "boos" from the audience*_

_I know… I know… but we can't do anything about it since the constitution prohibits selling of humans… even super humans… not to mention the contract we have changed..._

_*bigger "boos" from audience*_

_I know it's heart wrenching… it's even more heart wrenching to the previous owners of the last two Titans we sold in the previous shows…._

_*audience gives out sympathetic "aaawwwww"*_

**Desstrio: **Give me back my Beast Boy and his hot bod!

**Beast Boy: **See! I told you I have a hot bod! *crosses arms and gives triumphant grin*

**Four Titans: ***Silenced by disbelief*

**Robin: **Well… Waddya know….

**Raven: **I can't believe it…

**Beast Boy: **What's not to believe? *puffs out air through nose*

**Raven: **Who knew you would stoop so low, that you'd drug a person to thinking you had a "hot bod"…? *shakes head in disappointment*

**Other Titans: ***also shakes their head*

**Cyborg: **I thought better of you…

**Beast Boy: **Waddya mean drugs! Why can't you guys believe that I have a hot bod!

**Other Titans: ***Just stares at the changeling*

**Beast Boy: ***Tears start to form* Nobody loves meee! Waaaahhhhhh! *runs out*

**Desstrio: **I love you Beast Boy!

**Beast Boy: ***comes back and turns into a puppy and snuggles Desstrio* master!

_Oookkkaaaaayyy….. Enough snuggling… we have limited time… Scarat..! *Scarat picks up the puppy Beast Boy and puts him back in his chair*_

**Beast Boy: ***in puppy form whimpers and shows puppy eyes.*

_Nice try Beast Boy.. But that won't work on me…_

**Beast Boy: ***changes back* hmmphh!

_*audience still "booing" and complaining*_

_This will be a loooonngggg day… *host sighs* As I was-_

**Titansfan1211: **Give me back my Starfire!

**Robin: ***protectively _and unconsciously hugs Starfire* Whatdoyoumean YOUR Starfire! She's MINE! *barks like a dog protecting its bone*_

**Titansfan1211: **Shut up you tight wearing traffic bird! I bought her fair and square!

_*Robin and titansfan1211 start arguing…. Beast Boy jumps back to Desstrio… audience riot even more*_

_OH, FOR THE LOVE OF—SCARAT! *Scarat hands shotgun*_

_**BANG!**_

_*Everyone stops and looks at the pissed off host wielding the shotgun*_

_NOW…. Will you please get back in place or else all of you will be going home with holes in your stomachs… *eyes glints, showing that it's no joke*_

_*Everybody sweat drops and obediently goes back in place*_

_*host looks around*_Good. Now—

**BEEEEPPPP!**

_WHAT NOW!_

**Crew member:** *cautiously comes near host* umm…. We had to go to a commercial break…

_What!_

**Crew member: ***hides behind Scarat* We have no choice! The budget we have requires showing commercials..!

_*host evilly stares at the crew member* Fine… *looks at the Titans and audience* You guys better behave… or else! Especially you two *points at the two previous owners of Star and Beast Boy*_

_**Desstrio and titansfan1211: **__*pouts and raspberries*_

_Why do I get these kinds of jobs….? *walks out for a while*_

**Cyborg: ***Joins the other Titans at the front seats* Whew… I thought that after all those trips to court there wouldn't be any more problems…

**Robin: **Yeah… I thought they already started filtering the audience…

**Beast Boy: **Why'd we have to go to this stupid game show anyway!

**Other Titans: ***stares at Beast Boy* it's all your fault! (and it's not really a game show.)

**Beast Boy: **Why is it always _my _fault!

**Robin: **Coz' it is!

**Starfire: **I cannot deny that fact… since you did-

**Cyborg: **You pressed the self-destruct button on our Tower! Right when I _specifically _told you not to press any freakin' buttons!

**Beast Boy: **That was totally not my fault! It was yours! *puts face nearer to Cyborg*

**Cyborg: **Oh? How is it my fault! *growls*

**Beast Boy: **You just had to make the self-destruct button so big! Red! and SHINY! You know I can't help but press shiny buttons! Why in the hell do we have a self-destruct button anyway!

**Other Titans: ***ignores the point made by Beast Boy about having a self-destruct button and just stares at him again*

**Raven: **I take back what I said about you being a little green elf. Your more of a gremlin… pointy-eared and has zero brain capacity.

**Beast Boy: ***teary-eyed* Raven…. How could you say that..! I thought you love me!

**Raven: ***rolls eyes*

**Desstrio: ***pushes Raven aside* I love you more Beast Boy!

**Beast Boy: ***is touched by the words* master! *hugs Desstrio*

**Raven: ***fuming mad* Nobody pushes me!

**Cyborg: **Jealous much?

**Raven: ***glares at Cyborg and threatens* Do you want to go to be delivered to a scrap yard piece by piece?

**Starfire: ***looks at the ex-owner and Beast Boy embrace* Isn't that wonderful..? *sighs* I wish to embrace my old master as well.

**Robin: ***gasps* Star! What blasphemous thing are you saying! *hugs Starfire*

**Starfire: **Robin, why are being so overly-protective? *blushes* Is there something I should know?

**Robin: ***face turns totally red* Well… umm…. That's….

**Titansfan1211: **Hey there! Did you call me?

**Robin: ***glares at titansfan1211* YOU! You stay away fr-

**Starfire: ***escapes from Robin's embrace and hugs titansfan1211* it is good to see you again!

**Titansfan1211: **Good to see you too. *looks at Robin and raspberries*

**Robin: ***fuming mad jumps at titansfan1211*

*a bizarre fight develop at the front row*

**Cyborg: ***tiptoes back to the stage, to avoid getting in the fight* Phew! Man, those ex-owners do know how to fight… wonder what my owner will be like? Wait… I'm not really for sale anymore.. Then what am I really suppo— *shuts up after seeing the host and behaves*

_*host suddenly comes back, shotgun in hand, sees the fight*_

**Stage Director: **We're starting in one minute!

**Robin: **Get your hands off Starfire you—

**Beast Boy: ***half worried and half delighted at the same time tries to separate Raven and Desstrio* Girls! Girls! Stop fighting over me.

**Raven: **Who says this fight is about you!

**Desstrio: **I do!

**Starfire: ***being pulled by Robin and titansfan1211* I believed we should—

_**BANG! BANG!**_

_*Robin and Beastboys hair in the middle falls off*_

_*fighting stops and everyone looks at the shotgun except for Robin and Beast Boy*_

**Robin and Beast Boy: **My hair!

_Please go back to your seats madams and messieurs… *smiles while cranking shotgun*_

_*Desstrio and titansfan1211 goes back to their seat while Raven and Starfire pulled the grieving boys back to their seat*_

**Stage Director: **30 seconds till' we go live!

**Robin and Beast Boy: ***still crying like babies*

_Oh, for the—it's just hair! It will grow back later! Look. I'll give you this. *gets a small bottle from pocket and throws it at the Titans* that's a hair growing formula. Scarat made it himself._

**Starfire: ***reads direction and puts two drops on each of the boys' head*

**Robin and Beast Boy: ***hair turns back to normal in the blink of an eye* My hair! *teary-eyed and happy* We're not bald! *hugs each other*

_*audience gives a cute "awwww"*_

**Stage Director: **And in three! Two! One! Action!

_Welcome back folks! This is Why You Should Buy This Titan! Before the commercial, I already said that we won't be selling our Titan for today…_

_*someone from audience was about to say something but the host quickly showed his shotgun and everyone remained quiet*_

_But don't worry folks! We have the next best thing in auction for today! *brings out a remote control that has the familiar tattoo markings Cyborg has*_

**Cyborg: **Hey! That thing copied my tattoo!

_This remote isn't just a normal remote folks! It's even better than a universal remote! it's a-_

**Beast Boy: **Shhiiiinnnnnyyyyy remmoootteeee!

**Robin: **Quick! Tie him up! He can't resist the shininess!

_*Titans in the front row ties Beast Boy up*_

_*ahem* Yes… it is very shiny… but that's not the point… this remote folks is a super remote that can control today's Titan Cyborg!_

_*audience "ooohhhhh" and "ahhhhhs"*_

**Cyborg: **Say what!

**Robin: **This is a joke, right!

_Ahehehehe…. No. Music!_

_*weird rock and roll like guitar music plays*_

_It's only right here folks! If you call now and give us the best offer you'll be able to win this remote! look! It can make Cyborg into your personal swiss knife! *presses buttons*_

**Cyborg: **What the-! *automatically shows all the tools he keeps in his arsenals. From toothpicks, to can openers, to guns, to plungers, and he even has a dinner and tea set*

**Raven: **Ooohhh… a tea set…

_*audience applause*_

_You can make him dance! You can make him cry! You can make him do Kung Fu! _

**Cyborg: ***does exactly and accordingly what the host just said* Help me!

_*audience applause and children audience starts forcing their moms to buy the remote*_

**Robin: **What you're doing is wrong!

_Really now? Scarat? *Scarat reads through the thick contract deal they had made and gave and a-ok* I don't think so Robin! Scarat says we're not breaching the contract we made…. You should know better…After all, you were the one that made the terms and condition._

**Robin: **Wha-! But I-! *brings out his own copy of the contract and reads through* No way…. *slumps down in defeat*

**Cyborg: ***pleading while still doing Kung Fu* Robin?

**Robin: **Sorry Cy….

**Starfire and Raven: **We salute your patriotism *salutes at Cyborg*

**Cyborg: **You've got to be kidding me!

**Beast Boy: ***still drooling over the shiny remote*

_*triumphantly grins* Now, where was I? oh, yes…. You've heard of action figures that can only speak ten different things. Well, with this remote, you can make Cyborg say anything you want him to! *brings out keyboard and links it to the remote and starts typing*_

**Cyborg: ***in a Arnold type of voice* I AHM DE TURMENAHTOR! AHL BE BACK! AHM MORE MUSCULAH THAN YOU! I WANT MY MOMMY!

_Hmm… funny… I didn't type in that last sentence… _

**Child #1: **Mommy! I want that action figure! I hate mine!

**Child #2: **Me too mommy! I don't wanna play wid dollies no more!

**Raven: **Cyborg's been demoted from human to mechanoid to action figure….

**Starfire: **Poor Cyborg…. How were they able to acquire such a remote?

**Robin: ***realizes* yeah! That's right! You can at least tell us how you got it!

_*shrugs* Go ask Scarat…. I just sell the products… *Scarat just sheepishly grins*_

_***Somewhere under Jump City in an Underground labyrinth***_

**Brother Blood: **Hello…? Anybody here? I thought you said you'd let me in the bee keeper's club if I made you the remote… hello? Anybody? It's dark and scary in here…. I need someone to hug me…

_***back to the studio***_

_Guess Scarat doesn't want to divulge his secret. We can't do anything about that since forcing out information is against the contract __**you**__ made Robin._

**Robin: ***mad and pissed* I should've gone to college and took up law!

_Too bad for you… now we're almost out of time ladies and gents, since the first half was somewhat chaotic with all the shouting and cuddling… so I'll have to skip to the best part of this remote! If you call right now, and give us the best offer within one hour! We'll pitch in this car remote! Absolutely free!_

_*audience just hearing the word car and free immediately bring out their phones and started dialing*_

**Cyborg: ***wide eyed* NO! Not my baby!

_Hmm… only one way to find out. *uses the car remote*_

_CRASH!_

_*Cyborg's car crashes in the studio and swoops Cyborg inside*_

**Cyborg: **My baby! *starts cuddling the steering wheel*

_Well… waddya know? It is your car! Let's see what your baby can do! *starts messing around with the car remote*_

**Cyborg: **What? No-! Ooof!

*car starts crashing into each and every place... Audience runs screaming out of studio*

**Cyborg: **You're killing my baby! Nooo! *passes out when he saw the front bumper fly away*

**Desstrio: **Beast Boy! I'll come back for you!

**Titansfan1211: **Starfire! Call me!

_Oops… I never did get my driver's license yet… how do you stop this thing again?_

**Robin: **This has gone too long! Titans g-!

*Beast Boy somehow broke free and lunges at the host*

**Beast Boy: **!

_Down fido! ooff- *crashes and remotes get broken* Uh….Oh….._

**Beast Boy: **The shiny! *picks up the broken pieces of the remote* NNNNNNNOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOO!

_*car goes totally berserk, crashes to a wall and drives out of the studio*_

_*stares at the now destroyed and empty seats* Guess…. I'll be seeing you in court again, eh Robin?_

**Robin: ***lets out a painful sigh* Yeah…. I think I'm gonna have to rethink about the terms and conditions on the contract… I'm also thinking about going to college… well…. See you….

_Have fun now! *waves*_

**Robin: **Titans go!

*remaining titans go chase the rogue car*

*sound of broken wires and crackling of small fires*

**Stage Director: **Pssttt..! We're still live!

_Huh? What? Oh….. *ahem* Well… there you have it folks! Don't worry about the remote! I'm sure Scarat will be able to make a new one! Let's just hope Robin and the others get Cyborg and the car in one piece! So start dialing those phones (and don't forget your credit cards) and you might just get a chance to take home today's remote and this complementary hair growing formula!_

_*looks at the destroyed set once more*_

_I'm gonna go call my agent and my lawyer now…._

_**At the Underground labyrinth…**_

**Brother Blood: **Helloooo? Can anyone at least tell me where the bathroom is? I don't want to get kidney stones! *starts to sob* nobody loves me!

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my time here at home is finished after 3 days.. so most probably i won't be able to make stories since school is near... not to mention there won't be unlimited internet where i'm going back...^^" review if you'de like.. and if you have any suggetion, lay them on me!


	3. Robin draft

_A/N: Umm... hey.. been a long time since i posted something here.. so i was planning to continue the why you should buy this titan but i'm feeling kind of bad right now since my dad is sick.. so i decided to post this unfinished version on Robin.. sorry if it's not as good. i just feel that i need an opinion on this first if i can continue writing..,coz it feels like i'm losing it... sorry for ranting.. so here's what i've come up so far.. sorry if it seems awful.._

_Disclaimer:yeah..don't own them.._

_

* * *

_

_Hello ladies and gents! For those who gleefully thought that we got canceled because of all the pandemonium and mayhem that we caused every show…. TOO BAD FOR YOU! We're back! With another amendment of contract! Oh, and a restraining order from Brother Blood… And just to let those who loathe our show know… We'll never get canceled just because of petty issues like public destruction and anarchic tendencies…! This show is beyond that… after all, this is…._

_WHY YOU SHOULD BUY THIS TITAN!_

_*audience applause*_

_Hhmmm.. I wonder if I actually made sense in that last statement I made..? Oh, well.. *ahem* Now ladies and gents! Before I start with the auction I have to explain the court order given—I mean new rules the show has. Since selling of human beings is still illegal and brainwashing someone wasn't allowed by the judge… we have decided to just "rent" out today's titan!_

_*loud cheers and applause from audiences*_

_AND! I meant rent in a wholesome, non-carnal way…_

_*big boo from audience*_

_Please ladies and gents… this is supposed to be rated G… not to mention there are children here... Please..! _

_*audience bow head in shame*_

_Now, what's going to happen is that the one who gets to buy our titan will be able to keep him/her for only a week. You guys can do anything __**legal**__ to the Titan. Please remember the word legal ladies and gents… you can only get away with illegal things when you're in television but never in real life… is that clear?_

_*audience nod like sad pre-school students*_

_Great! Now enough with all the court orders and whatnots. It's time to get on with the show! After all, today we have one of the most sought after, drooled over and wanted titan on auction for today! Ladies and gents for today's Titan in auction: our very own heart-throb wonder boy Robin!_

_*nearby curtain goes up and shows Robin holding his bo staff like a cane*_

**Robin: **Hey there! *winks and flashes killer smile*

_*wild screams from the audience, especially the female audience*_

**Female Audience No.1: **Oh my god! It's really him! I love you Robin!

**Female Audience No.2: **That's not true! I love you more, Robin-poo!

**Female Audience No.3: **Who says! _I'M_ the one who loves him the best!

_*bickering from the female audience ensues*_

_*Sigh*When will we ever get through this show without total turmoil happening every second..?_

**Cyborg: **Man, I wonder where that boy got all his pheromones?

**Raven: **Probably from all that hair spray he uses on his hair…

**Beast Boy**:*like a proud father* Naturally. I taught him everything I know.

**Raven&Cyborg: ***stares at the changeling*****

**Beast Boy: **What? How come you guys never believe me? Star! Help me out here! uhh.. Star?

**Starfire**: *subtle yet threatening aura surrounds her* I do not know why. But seeing those women… eyeing and fanning over Robin like that makes me feel… bad…

**Raven,Cyborg&BeastBoy: ***blinks*

**Raven**: Do you think she finally figured it out..?

**Cyborg: **That it's supposed to be fawning not fanning? I don't think so.

**Raven: ***glares*

**Cyborg**: *sheepishly grins*Right… wrong reply…By looking at the threatening aura of hers, I think she's beginning to realize it..

**Beast Boy: **Dude! Is that some kind of new furmon too?

**Raven: ***glares at Beast Boy* that's pheromone, and it seems like your brain still needs rewiring.

**Beast Boy: ***totally out of topic* I know you dig me. *wags eyebrows*

**Raven: ***rolls eyes and ignores green boy*

_*Female audience start to get rowdier and the security guards are starting to have a hard time controlling them*_

_**BANG! BANG!**_

_*silence*_

_*host wielding trusty shotgun* Congratulations folks! We still haven't gotten to any of the five reasons yet and your all up and ready to cause trouble! Now if you feel like losing weight via bullet holes on your bodies why, by golly I'll be happy to forget about the auction and provide you such service! *eyes evilly glint and small fangs show as host smirk*_

_*audience gets back into place*_

_Good. Now… *ahem*man this is becoming a routine… Here are the 5 reasons why you should buy this titan!_

_*ahem*_

_Reason number one: you don't have to worry about bad guys and bullies ruining your day coz' our titan for today knows Kung Fu! *mumbles to self* and as to what Kung Fu it is, I have no idea…_

_*Robin begins to display his Kung Fu Panda moves*_

_*audience goes gaga*_

**Female Audience No.1:** Marry me!

**Female Audience No.2:** No! Marry ME! I know everything about you! I'll take good care of you!

**Cyborg:** Scary..

**Raven:** Yup.. Even scarier than me.

**Cyborg:** *looks at Raven* You actually agree that those ladies are scarier than you?

**Raven:** I didn't say it was them. I'm talking about the one sitting beside me. *points at Star*

**Starfire:** *threatening aura begins to grow and cover her whole body* *in a scary voice unlike Starfire* how dare that lowly morsel of a human say that she knows him!

**Beast Boy: **I think I just tinkled myself.

_*female audience starts uproar once again*_

_Aw.. for the—_

_*one female audience breaks free from security and rushes towards Robin and kissed him on the cheek*_

_**BOOM!**_

**Starfire:** *evil threatening aura consumes her and destroys 1 meter radius surrounding her* *Slowly walks towards Robin and fan girl hugging him*

**Robin: ***unsure what to say* Uhh… Star?

**Starfire: ***glares at the fangirl still hugging Robin* *In a scary voice* HOW DARE YOU!

_**!**_

_**Please standby…**_

**...**

**...**

**...**

**

* * *

**

_yeah.. i know it's really short... sorry if i didn't edit it so well.. need some opinion really.. sori for being so emo too... haha.. i'll take this chapter down soon enough.._


	4. Robinfinished ver

_A/N: got to lazy to redo whole thing and to replace the draft. so sorry if it's messy. this thing was supposed to be done and posted ages ago but college life is exhausting.. so sorry for the mess. enjoy reading_

_M_M_MM_M_M_M_M_M_M_M_M_M_M_M_M_M_M_M_M_M_M_M_M_M_M_M_M_M_M_M_M_M_M_M_M_M_M_M_M_M_M_M_M_M_M_M_M_M_M_M_M_

_Hello ladies and gents! For those who gleefully thought that we got canceled because of all the pandemonium and mayhem that we caused every show…. TOO BAD FOR YOU! We're back! With another amendment of contract! Oh, and a restraining order from Brother Blood… And just to let those who loathe our show know… We'll never get canceled just because of petty issues like public destruction and anarchic tendencies…! This show is beyond that… after all, this is…._

_WHY YOU SHOULD BUY THIS TITAN!_

_*audience applause*_

_Hhmmm.. I wonder if I actually made sense in that last statement I made..? Oh, well.. *ahem* Now ladies and gents! Before I start with the auction I have to explain the court order given—I mean new rules the show has. Since selling of human beings is still illegal and brainwashing someone wasn't allowed by the judge… we have decided to just "rent" out today's titan!_

_*loud cheers and applause from audiences*_

_AND! I meant rent in a wholesome, non-carnal way…_

_*big boo from audience*_

_Please ladies and gents… this is supposed to be rated G… not to mention there are children here... Please..! _

_*audience bow head in shame*_

_Now, what's going to happen is that the one who gets to buy our titan will be able to keep him/her for only a week. You guys can do anything __**legal**__ to the Titan. Please remember the word legal ladies and gents… you can only get away with illegal things when you're in television but never in real life… is that clear?_

_*audience nod like sad pre-school students*_

_Great! Now enough with all the court orders and whatnots. It's time to get on with the show! After all, today we have one of the most sought after, drooled over and wanted titan on auction for today! Ladies and gents for today's Titan in auction: our very own heart-throb wonder boy Robin!_

_*nearby curtain goes up and shows Robin holding his bo staff like a cane*_

**Robin: **Hey there! *winks and flashes killer smile*

_*wild screams from the audience, especially the female audience*_

**Female Audience No.1: **Oh my god! It's really him! I love you Robin!

**Female Audience No.2: **That's not true! I love you more, Robin-poo!

**Female Audience No.3: **Who says! _I'M_ the one who loves him the best!

_*bickering from the female audience ensues*_

_*Sigh*When will we ever get through this show without total turmoil happening every second..?_

**Cyborg: **Man, I wonder where that boy got all his pheromones?

**Raven: **Probably from all that hair spray he uses on his hair…

**Beast Boy**:*like a proud father* Naturally. I taught him everything I know.

**Raven&Cyborg: ***stares at the changeling*****

**Beast Boy: **What? How come you guys never believe me? Star! Help me out here! uhh.. Star?

**Starfire**: *subtle yet threatening aura surrounds her* I do not know why. But seeing those women… eyeing and fanning over Robin like that makes me feel… bad…

**Raven,Cyborg&BeastBoy: ***blinks*

**Raven**: Do you think she finally figured it out..?

**Cyborg: **That it's supposed to be fawning not fanning? I don't think so.

**Raven: ***glares*

**Cyborg**: *sheepishly grins*Right… wrong reply…By looking at the threatening aura of hers, I think she's beginning to realize it..

**Beast Boy: **Dude! Is that some kind of new furmon too?

**Raven: ***glares at Beast Boy* that's pheromone, and it seems like your brain still needs rewiring.

**Beast Boy: ***totally out of topic* I know you dig me. *wags eyebrows*

**Raven: ***rolls eyes and ignores green boy*

_*Female audience start to get rowdier and the security guards are starting to have a hard time controlling them*_

_**BANG! BANG!**_

_*silence*_

_*host wielding trusty shotgun* Congratulations folks! We still haven't gotten to any of the five reasons yet and your all up and ready to cause trouble! Now if you feel like losing weight via bullet holes on your bodies why, by golly I'll be happy to forget about the auction and provide you such service! *eyes evilly glint and small fangs show as host smirks*_

_*audience gets back into place*_

_Good. Now… *ahem*man this is becoming a routine… Here are the 5 reasons why you should buy this titan!_

_*ahem*_

_Reason number one: you don't have to worry about bad guys and bullies ruining your day coz' our titan for today knows Kung Fu! *mumbles to self* and as to what Kung Fu it is, I have no idea…_

_*Robin begins to display his Kung Fu Panda moves*_

_*audience goes gaga*_

**Female Audience No.1:** Marry me!

**Female Audience No.2:** No! Marry ME! I know everything about you! I'll take good care of you!

**Cyborg:** Scary..

**Raven:** Yup.. Even scarier than me.

**Cyborg:** *looks at Raven* You actually agree that those ladies are scarier than you?

**Raven:** I didn't say it was them. I'm talking about the one sitting beside me. *points at Star*

**Starfire:** *threatening aura begins to grow and cover her whole body* *in a scary voice unlike Starfire* **How dare that lowly morsel of a human say that she knows him!**

**Beast Boy: ***in a cared high pitched voice*I think I just tinkled myself.

_*female audience starts uproar once again*_

_Aw.. for the—_

_*one female audience breaks free from security and rushes towards Robin and kissed him on the cheek*_

_**BOOM!**_

**Starfire:** *evil threatening aura consumes her and destroys 1 meter radius surrounding her* *Slowly walks towards Robin and fan girl hugging him*

**Robin: ***unsure what to say* Uhh… Star?

**Starfire: ***glares at the fangirl still hugging Robin* *In a scary voice* HOW DARE YOU!

_**!**_

_**Please standby…**_

…

…_**.**_

…_**..**_

_**TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTTTTTTT!**_

…_**..**_

…_**..**_

…_**..**_

_*static noises*_

_*more static*_

…

…

_*camera starts to work again*_

_*hazy image of stage being completely destroyed by starfire*_

**Stage Manager: ***to the camera man* What the hell are you-! Don't broadcast this yet! *grabs and covers camera* Scarat! Host! You know what to do!

…

…

_*elevator music begins to play*_

…

_.._

_*camera starts to work once again and… stage now looks perfectly normal*_

_*everything now is back in place and signs of Starfire's rage cannot be found*_

_*audience and Titans are fast asleep*_

_Hey there folks! Sorry for the er… technical difficulties. Well, these things happen you know.. the camera getting broken.. *in a low voice* and the whole set being broken every time… hehehe. Well… anyway, thanks for bearing with us and we promise you that this won't happen again… maybe.. *sheepishly grins* _

_*host takes out a megaphone* WAAAAAAAAAAAKEEEEEEEEEEEEE UUUUUUUUUUPPPPPPPPPP!_

**Beast Boy: ***Slowly waking up* Urgh.. Man.. What-! OMG the set-! Huh? Everything's fine..? But..

**Raven: ***massaging temples* Man.. I had one of the most scariest dreams.. I think it's even scarier than Trigon..

**Cyborg: ***rubbing head as well* Yeah.. me too.. Star was- *sudden realization* Star!

***three Titans immediately look at the seat of Tamaranean princess***

**Starfire: ***still quietly and peacefully sleeping* *giggles and mumbles* Robin…

**Cyborg: ***blinks* Do you think-?

**Beast Boy: **Nah… can't be.. It must have been totally a dream! I mean… It had to be!

**Raven: **I think it's just better to just forget about it..

***Beast Boy and Cyborg nod in agreement***

_*audience slowly start to wake up and mumble something about never crossing Starfire's wrath*_

_Good morning folks! Had a nice sleep..? What you just experienced was our very special sleeping treatment! We knew that a lot of you folks didn't get enough sleep because of exciting anticipation to get inside the set so we decided to let you rest a little bit since we were experiencing technical difficulties!_

_*Ohh's could be heard from the audience and thank you's*_

_Don't mention it folks. And as for our viewers! Ahahahahaha.. remember viewers *in a threatening voice and stare* we know where you live. I mean it. Right Scarat?_

_*Scarat from the backstage gives thumbs up while doing something on his laptop* _

_*workers from backstage carry around things that look like Mad Mod's hypnotizing device*_

_We'll soon be coming to your place folks. Don't even think of running away. Hahahaha! Well, let's get on to the auction shall we?_

_*audience applause*_

_Now Robin... huh…?_

**Robin: ***lying on the floor, still sleeping*

_Hmm.. Well, this would make it easier. Alrighty folks! Everyone knows that our young titan today is a dashing young man but! Have you ever seen him with his hair down and not spiked up? No? Well. You'll get to see it now. For Reason Number two: he has the looks that can kill no matter what his hairstyle! _

_*wild cheers from the audience*_

_Scarat and company. Would you do the honor please.._

_*Scarat and beauticians start hovering Robin and fixes him up*_

_Here's a chair for the young leader.. *host hands over chair*_

_*audience wait in giddy anticipation*_

**Raven: **I have to admit that I'm also curious.. but did Robin agree to this?

_*Host just grins* eh, we're not doing anything that's against the contract. Besides, I know you want to see this for yourself as well._

**Raven: **Can't argue with you there. But I think Star would like to see this more. Hey Starfire *shakes Starfire awake*

**Starfire: ***giggle* *giggle* *snore* *giggle* *snort* *slightly wakes up* *yawns* Yes..? Who calls?

**Raven: **Hey, they're changing Robin's hairstyle right now. They're getting rid of the spikes.

**Starfire: ***instantly wakes up* Oh Joyous! I must go get the popping corns!

**Beast Boy: **Way ahead of you Star! *starts giving out popcorn*

**Cyborg: **I got the camera!

_This oughtta be fun. You guys finished already?_

_*Scarat gives thumbs up*_

_Alrighty then! Ladies and gentlemen! Our boy wonder!_

_*Scarat and company stops covering Robin and shows him to the audience*_

_*Crazy cheers from audience*_

_*some audience start frothing in the mouth faints*_

_Uhh.. I think we need a medic here.._

**Robin: ***wakes up* Huh..? Wha-? Why is it so noisy..?

_*crowd cheers louder*_

**Raven: **Wow…

**Beast Boy: **Hahahaha! That's something I didn't expect. Hey Cy, you getting all this?

**Cyborg: **Boo-yah, baby. Boo-yah. *keeps snapping pictures of Robin*

**Robin: **Ugh. *Holds head* man.. thought I had a nightmare.. wait.. Something's off with my hair today.. Oh my-!

_Congrats, wonder boy. With your hair down like that you actually look like—_

**Starfire: **Justin Beiber!

_*female audience start screeching and yelling*_

_What? Beiber…? Err.. not exactly what I was about to say.. but if you look at it.. he does kinda look like him. A Beiber that's thinner, black haired, ripped and has a mask.. if you ask me, I think their hairstyle's the only thing that's the same…_

_*crowd and everyone else totally ignores hosts comments and continues screaming and fighting their way to get to the stage.*_

_*in a hurt voice* Right.. Nobody asked.. *sniff*_

**Robin: **What in the hell did you do to my hair!

**Beast Boy: **Dude! Forget about that! You gotta use your new found powers to stop those stampeding fangirls of yours!

**Robin: **What the hell are you talking about?

_*security guards starting to lose control of crowd*_

**Beast Boy: **We have no time! Quick! Flip your hair!

**Robin: **Uhh.. excuse me?

**Beast Boy: **I said flip your hair!

**Robin: **Flip it? *raises eyebrows*

**Beast Boy: **Yeah. Flip. Swoosh it. Like this *does a swishing motion with hair*

**Robin: ***unsure* uhh… like this.? *swishes hair*

_*female audience scream and faint with hearts still on their eyes*_

_Wow.. that's pretty effective._

**Cyborg: **Waddya know? gonna put these pics on my twitter and facebook!

**Robin: **Uhh… what just happened?

**Starfire: ***happily shrieks* Robin! You are even cuter than Justin Beiber!

**Raven: **right… don't know that guy.. But Beast Boy, how'd you know that'd work?

**Beast Boy: *proudly* **I read girl's magazine.

***four titans and everyone stare at Beast Boy***

**Beast Boy: **What? It's for research! It's not like I'm really into that! You gotta believe me!

_Good luck with that Beast Boy.. Well ladies and gents! We still have three more reasons! But thanks to you folks always going gaga over our merchandise we're gonna have to cut it and just give out 2 reasons.._

_*awws and disappointed look from audience*_

_Don't blame me or the staff folks. You can only blame yourself. And the network that refuses to giveus more time.. But then again, I think it's better to do that.. Less time for causing more damage y'know. Well, anyway! Here's reason number three! Believe it or not folks but our leader titan here is actually pretty smooth with his legs! I mean, he's a good dancer ladies and gents! _

**Robin: ***starts doing some moves but hair got in the way of his vision and he trips*

BAM!

_Ewww.. Ouch… that's gotta hurt._

_*audience just silently stare*_

**Robin: ***blushing* *gets up* hehee.. umm.. *flips his hair*

_*audience goes wild and cheers*_

_Man.. That's pretty effective.. kinda like a cheat in a game. _

**Beast Boy: **Maybe I should start growing out my hair and try that.

**Raven: **I'd prefer you rather not.. you'd look like a green mop..

**Beast Boy: **Aww.. Is my little Raven worried that I'd have more fans and have no more time for you? Don't worry Rae, you'll always be my number one girl.

**Raven: **I think the cold pizza I just ate this morning is about to be barfed.

**Beast Boy: **I love you too.

**Starfire: ***goo-goo eyed* *smiles and drools*

_We're really running out of time folks so here's reason number four before anything else happens! Reason number four! He's still single! Our dashing titan is a bachelor ladies! _

_*female audience and some male audience (don't ask) go wild and ready they're cell phones*_

**Female Audience No.1: ***like a savage animal* You're mine Roby-poo! When I get my hands on you I'm gonna *beep* and *beep* you!

**Female Audience No.2: ***just as savage and scary* You're never getting him! He's mine! I'm going to *rest of sentences were _beeped _because it's just too darn _wrong_*

_Please folks… please keep those dirty and rated R thoughts to yourself.. It's just downright wrong and scary when you declare it on live television.. Please remember what I said before about legalities! _

**Cyborg: **Man.. I think they slacked on the sifting of audience again… some of ladies are scary.. don't you thing so too Rae? Uh… Rae..?

**Raven: ***quickly gets up* I think the nightmare we just had before is going to happen again…

**Beast Boy: **Uhh… guys… I think Stars furmoning again…

**Starfire: ***evil and threatening aura engulfs her once again* *in scary voice* **Those foolish insects! How dare they say and even think of those vile and impure thoughts! They must be punished!**

_*host notices aura emanating from Starfire* Great.. looks like we have to wrap this up quick..*takes deep breath*_

_*without stopping or breathing* Well that's all the time we have folks so get those phones and start dialing (and don't forget your creditc ards) and you might get the chance to bring home today's titan and this complementary sleeping solution made by Scarat!_

**Starfire: *still in scary voice* **PUNISHMENT!

**CRASH!**

**BAM!**

**BOOM!**

**Robin: ***yelps* Star! Let go of that! No..! no..! wait.!

**BOOM!**

**Robin: **Guys! Help!

**Beast Boy: **Do the hair flip! The Hair flip!

_*sigh* Just another day on Why You Should Buy This Titan.. Better ready the hypnotizing device and sleeping gas again.. _

…

_**CRASH!**_

…

_**BOOM!**_

…

**BEEEEEEEEPPP!**

W_W_W_W_W_W_W_W_W_W_W_W_W_W_W_W_W_W_W_W_W_W_W_W_W_W_W_W_W_W_W_W_W_W_W_W_W_W_W_W_W_W_W_W

_tell me if there are any major errors and anything that popped out of your head while reading this. stay tuned to see what will happen on Raven's turn for auction.. which i don't know when i'll be able to do.. but just stay tuned all the same. good day. _


End file.
